M4TCHM4K3RS
by Souleater21
Summary: Terezi and Nepeta play matchmaker, using Nepeta's shipping wall as a sort of reference point. Hilarity and carnage ensue. Teen for cursing and possible smut, if they pick an actual viable pairing.
1. Pairing One: Sollux And Vriska

_**SUMMARY: **Terezi and Nepeta play matchmaker, using Nepeta's shipping wall as a sort of reference point. Hilarity and carnage ensue._

_So! Here it is, a new fic! And a Homestuck one. Romance/Humour, if you look. Gonna be quite the blast, eh? So, enjoy! This takes place before Sgurb, but after Terezi is blinded._

_**DISCLAIMER: **I'm not nearly smart enough to have created something like Homestuck-that legend is Andrew Hussie. This fic, though, is 100% mine, so don't pass it off as your own. Don't share it at all without my permission, which I probably won't give._

OoOoOoOoOoOoOo

I am TEREZI PYROPE and I was roleplaying at my good friend Nepeta's cave. I was, that is, until I stumbled upon a large, brightly colored wall. With a sniff, I was assailed by a variety of delicious smells, including R3D. Delicious, delicious R3D.

Nepeta was coming up behind me, saying "Terezi, why'd you stop-Oh! That's private!" She squeaked in alarm when she realized what I was looking at.

"What is it?" I asked. Despite my incredible sense of taste and smell, the object was simply too large and too colorful to really discern it quickly.

Nepeta sighed, accepting defeat. "It's my...shipping wall." She admitted, somewhat bashful. That explained all the red. Hearts. The white were the diamonds. "It's only for redrom, though. Blackrom is too angry to put up there."

After a minute or two of sniffing, I managed to discern most of it. It was divided in two, matespirits on one side, moirails on the other. I could smell Nepeta and Equius' square in the moirail side. It was in a big,red circle, and the word DURRR was written under it. I chuckled a bit as I looked at the rest, but had to resist the urge to throw up when I saw-or rather, smelt, the one detailing me and Gamzee. I had to admit with what she had written there. Then, two above it, her and Karkat. 'Oh yesss' was written under it. I blinked. She wanted a matespiritship with Karkat? I was a bit, well, jealous, due to my own feelings about Karkat, but that's a story for another time. Next to it, though, I could agree with the thing written there. Karkat and Vriska. Yes. Very, very, 'oh noooooo'.

Suddenly, an idea popped into my head. I grinned deviously as it formulated into a plot. A rather diabolical one, if I do say so myself. Vriska would be proud.

Not that I necessarily wanted her to be. Nepeta noticed my grin and shifted nervously. "You aren't going to tell anyone, are you?" She whispered, a tone of desperation in her voice. She loved this wall.

"No no no no. I just have an idea. For a game." I answered, still grinning like a lunatic. Nepeta still seemed confused and still somewhat worried, so I explained. Her face went from pleading to joyous at the end of the explanation.

"Oh, that would be so much fun! We should really do that! Who should we start with?" She jumped up and down in her excitement.

"I have an idea..." I started, my eyes moving, not that it really helped any, to one in the bottom left hand corner of the matespirits side. Sollux and Vriska. H3H3H3H3H3H3.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOo

I am SOLLUX CAPTOR, and I really hate it when my "friends" bother me while I'm hacki-or rather, working. Which is what they did. God, they're so annoying.

GallowsCalibrator [GC] began trolling twinArmageddons [TA]

GC: H3Y SOLLUX

TA: what do you want, tz

TA: iim iin the miiddle of 2omethiing here

GC: F1N3 1LL M4K3 1T QU1CK

GC: COM3 TO N3P3T4'S

TA: iim not goiing two that crazy-a22 hiive

TA: ii dont want two know what 2he doe2 there

TA: 2he dii2turbs me enough duriing our chat2

TA: whiich there are preciiou2 few of

GC: TOO B4D

GC: YOUR3 COM1NG

GC: 1F YOU DONT

GC: YOULL MAK3 H3R CRY

TA: not my problem

GC: DONT M4K3 M3 COM3 OV3R TH3R3

TA: what are you going two do

TA: hiit me wiith your stiick?

GC: 1 D1DNT W4NT 1T TO COM3 TO TH1S

GC: BUT YOU L34V3 M3 W1TH NO CHO1C3

GC: 1LL G3T K4RK4T

TA: becau2e iim scared of that douche

TA: ii doubt he wiill lii2ten two you anyway2

GC: H3 W1LL

GC: 1 H4V3 MY WAYS

GC: ):]

TA: that2 2omewhat omiinou2

TA: iif ii dont come wiill you keep on botheriing me

GC: Y3S

GC: 4ND SO WILL N3P3TA

GC: ):]

TA: aaagh

TA: fiine

TA: dont have much of a choiice, do ii?

GC: NO

GC: ):D

TA: 2top 2miiliing

TA: iit2 2omewhat dii2turbiing

GC: ):D

twinArmageddons [TA] has ceased trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC]

GC: SUCC3SS

GC: ):D

GC: 1 WOND3R HOW N3P3T4S DO1NG W1TH VR1SK4

OoOoOoOoOoOoOo

I am NEPETA LEIJON, and I am playing a fun game with my friend, Terezi. We're matching up our friends using my shipping grid.

It's so fun! Terezi is getting Sollux to come over, and you're going to try to convince Vriska to come too, so we can pair them up! It'll be so much fun!

arsenicCatnip [AC] has begun trolling arachnidsGrip [AG]

AC: :33- *****ac pads up to ag and runs around her, mewing*****

AG: ** ***Marquise Spinnerette Mindfang looks at the tiny cat.*

AG: *And reaches toward her 8oot.*

AG: *For her knife. In case it wasn't clear.*

AC: :33- noooooo

AG: Why not?

AC: :33- dont play as mindfang

AC: :33- mindfang is mean

AG: She isn't mean. She just isn't prone to diplomacy.

AG: What's wrong with that?

AC: :33- whats wrong is that she will kill my purr little kitty

AG: No. Not necessarily.

AG: She may a8scond. Or survive. Or dodge.

AG: If she's lucky.

AG: 8ut I've got all the luck!

AG: ::::)

AC: :33- noooooooo

AG: Okay. Fine.

AG: 8ut only 8ecause you said that with 8 o's.

AG: So, what'd you come to talk a8out?

AC: :33- what makes you think i came to talk

AG: You don't really like rp'ing with me. Can't really 8lame you, with all the maiming I've done.

AC: :33- *sigh* i came because i want you to come to my hive

AG: ...

AG: What?

AC: :33- im telling the truth

AG: ...Hmmmmmmmm. Should I come?

AG: Fine, I'll come. I don't get an offer like this every day.

AG: And 8esides, I'll be able to finally check out your hive.

AG: ::::)

AC: :33- yay!

arsenicCatnip [AC] has ceased trolling arachnidsGrip [AG]

AG: I wonder what she's up to...

OoOoOoOoOoOoOo

arsenicCatnip [AC] began trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC]

AC: :33- opurration sollux/vriskurs is a go

GC: 1 GOT SOLLUX TO COM3

GC: TOOK 4 B1T OF SW33T T4LK1NG

GC: BUT H3S COM1NG

AC: :33- same with vriskurs

AC: :33- they'll be such a cute couple!

AC: :33

arsenicCatnip [AC] ceased trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC]

OoOoOoOoOoOoOo

I am SOLLUX CAPTOR, and by this point I suspected something was up. I was the only one in the goddamn cave. Either than Nepeta's creepy two-mouthed lusus, which was curled up, doing absolutely nothing. Lousy good for nothing piece of shit. I didn't even know why I dragged myself over here. A waste of time, if you ask me, but meh. You didn't, so fuck off.

Anyways, completely deserted. Not a flipping troll in sight.

And I was right. It _was _disturbing. Animal pelts lining the place, and disturbing as fucking hell cave paintings. Painted in blood. I was contemplating leaving, when a voice sounded behind me.

"What are _you _doing here?" A scathing voice asked from behind. I whirled around. Vriska. This day keeps on getting better and better.

"II could ask you the same thiing." I snapped. I have absolutely no patience for huge bitches, so it should follow that I have even less patience for their freaking queen.

"Straight to the point, eh? Nepeta asked me to come." She responded. "Now answer my question."

"TZ asked me to come. Frankly, II have no iidea why. Iit's diisturbiing here." I admitted, looking around at the gristly cave.

"Terezi? So she's involved in all this..."

"Iin all what?" I asked. I still hadn't forgiven her for her involvement in Aradia's death. My own involvement made me want to kill her. Then myself.

"Whatever this is." She waved her hands around in an abstract manner. "Nepeta doesn't talk to me much. Thinks I'm too 'violent'." She scoffed, as if it were a hard thing to believe. "They didn't just call us both here to say hi."

"You thiink so?" I muttered, glancing around. Goddamnit, her paranoia was rubbing off on me.

"Yes. You should too." She said, walking inside the cave. "Paranoia stops you from lowering your guard." She winked at me. "Which seems pretty low a lot of the time."

"Fuck off, you crazy biitch. II have biigger problems than whiich biitch is craziier than the other. Anyways, II already knew the answer." I spat. I was wanting to kill her more with each passing second.

"Hm." She grunted, walking further into the cave.

"Where are you goiing?" I asked, walking after her. Even though I hated her, I couldn't really leave her in this freaking corpse yard. Who knew what half-undead blood beasts lay in wait?

She turned around. "Oh, wanting to protect me?" She teased. My left eye twitched, and one of the animal skins in the corner raised up, a result of my psychic abilities. "My my, someone's got a temper issue!" She noted." I twitched again. The skin jerked towards her. Dry blood came off of it in flakes. "Jeeeeeeeez. No need to get all angry. I'm exploring, dumbass."

I cursed silently and threw it down as she turned around and continued on her way. Freaking mind control abilities. What a fucking bitch.

After some wandering around aimlessly, we stumbled upon another room. One of its walls was covered in squares. It was all divided in two. Vriska walked up to it and investigated it for a second. Then she laughed. "It's a shipping wall!"

"What?" I asked curiously, walking up to investigate. Whoop de do, it was. On one side there was moirails. On the other, matespirits. I looked at one that seemed to have me in it. It did. A moirallegiance. With Aradia. I resisted the urge to tear Vriska limb from limb.

"Oh, look at this one!" She was laughing, pointing at one on the matespirit side. I looked up at it. Karkat and Nepeta. It had 'oh yesssssssss' scrawled under it. I laughed too. Crazy stalker chick loves Karkat?

"Oh man, Ii'm telliing Karkat thiis." I was laughing so hard I was freaking crying. I pulled out my phone and trolled him.

twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]

TA: dude you gotta see thii2

CG: SEE WHAT.

CG: GODDAMNIT SOLLUX, THIS ISN'T A FREE PASS TO SEND ME FUCKING CODE. SOME OF THIS CRAP PROBABLY DOESN'T EVEN WORK.

I ignored him, and snapped a picture of the square, then sent it to him.

A second later, he replied.

CG: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS

CG: IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE ME

CG: AND NEPETA

TA: ye2 dude iim at nepeta2

TA: long 2tory iil tell you iit later

TA: 2he has a 2hiippiing wall

TA: wiith thii2 on iit

CG: HOLY FUCK

CG: SHE LOVES ME?

CG: OH GOD. OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD.

CG: THIS IS A FUCKING MONSTROSITY

CG: I'M DELETING IT.

CG: THEN DEFRAG MY COMPUTER. THIS IS VILE. ABSOLUTELY VILE.

CG: I'M LOCKING MY DOOR. SHE CAN'T GET IN. OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD

CG: THIS IS A NEW LOW FOR YOU SOLLUX

CG: SENDING THIS DEMONSPAWN TO ME?

CG: FUCK YOU MAN. FUCK YOU UP YOUR STUPID MULTICOLORED EYES WITH MY FUCKING SICKLE. FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU

twinArmageddons [TA] has ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]

CG: I HATE YOU SO MUCH. MY HATE FOR YOU CANNOT BE DESCRIBED WITH WORDS, ONLY WITH MY SICKLE.

I laughed. He was so easy to piss off. Vriska, meanwhile was looking at the rest of the pairings. "Ewwwwwwww." She muttered when she saw one that said Tavros and Vriska. I agreed. She'd probably kill him before that ever happened.

Then she saw another one, and furrowed her brow. "What iis iit?" I asked, looking at what she was looking at.

Sollux and Vriska.

It took us both about 2 seconds before we realized what happened.

"Those crazy-ass broads!" I yelled. "What the fuck are they doiing, tryiing to paiir us up?

No way iin a miilliion years, you biitches!"

Vriska had similar feelings, but she expressed them with less swearing. "Really? Really? Me? Me and him? No." She made a retching motion. "The very prospect is making me sick. Me. With a piss-blood?"

I was too enraged at the two bitches to realize what she was saying.

Then there was a sigh. Not from us. A grate plopped down from the roof, and Terezi and Nepeta hopped down. Nepeta looked like she had been crying. Terezi looked dissapointed.

"What were you thinking?" I screamed at them in my rage.

"It was worth a try." Terezi shrugged.

Nepeta whimpered. "Why'd you tell Karcat?" She said quietly.

That's why. I felt a twinge of sympathy for her. "He has a riight to know." I replied. "Iif he's ever goiing to be your matespiiriit, he'll have to know fiirst."

She nodded slightly.

Terezi scoffed. "What were we thinking? Vriska would never kiss you anyways, Sollux." That was true, fortunately.

Vriska scowled. "Yeah? You think so?"

Terezi nodded. "I know so. Like you said, you with a piss-blood? You'd never kiss one so below you on the Hemospectrum."

Vriska glanced at me, then at Terezi. "Yeah? You're wrong." She hissed. Then she kissed me.

That was probably the worst moment in my life. Yeah, she wasn't a half-bad kisser, but the fact that it was _her._ Just...no. Don't want to talk about it. I stumbled back when she was done. I promptly retched on the ground, then raised my head to the sky and screamed in my absolute rage. I was going to kill her.

But alas, she absconded, and I had to stay behind to clean up the mess I made.

Including the hole in the roof.

333333333

OPERATION: SOLLUX AND VRISKA

STATUS:Failed miserably.

NOTES: Don't get Sollux pissed off. He tends to shoot lasers from his eyes and destroy important things.

333333333

_So, the first chapter is done! Hope you enjoyed! This will probably be updated often. Possibly tomorrow, once I find a good pairing idea. The setting will fluctuate wildly, from Alternia to the veil._

_BTW: Goddamnit, can't even make a sideways V, i guess. What's its proper name? Who cares._

_ Remember, R and R!_


	2. Pairing Two: Tavros and Kanaya PartOne

_Hey! It's me again, with a new chapter for M4TCHM4K3RS! So, enjoy!_

_So, in reply to Rena, I'll write Sollux with double i's when he's nervous or angry. He was both then. But Sollux won't show up for a while._

_**DISCLAIMER: **I am not Andrew Hussie. So it follows that I don't own Homestuck._

OoOoOoOoOoOoOo

twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]

TA: dude lii2ten up

CG: OH, WHAT NOW?

CG: DO YOU HAVE MORE TRAUMATIZING IMAGES WITH WHICH TO HAUNT ME WITH?

CG: OR CODE?

CG: WHICH ONE YOU CARTLIGINOUS FUCKING FLESH NUB?

TA: dude calm down

CG: CALM DOWN? NO. NOT WHEN NEPETA COULD BE ANYWHERE...

CG: WATCHING...

TA: 2hut up

TA: tz and np are playiing 2ome 2rewed up matchmakiing game

TA: they triied two paiir me up wiith

TA: wiith

TA: ii cant 2ay iit

TA: iit'2 two fucked up

CG: SPIT IT OUT OF YOUR PROTEIN CHUTE, YOU FUCKING INVERTED ASSBALL.

TA: vrii2ka

CG: ...

CG: REALLY?

CG: HAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHA HAHAHA HAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA!

CG: OH, THE HILARITY!

CG: HOW'D THAT END UP?

TA: 2hut the fuck up dude

TA: and not well

TA: there2 are hole

TA: in np2 roof now

TA: vrii2ka...

TA: gah...2he diid 2omethiing eviil

TA: and ii got angry

TA: and boom

TA: there2 a hole iin the wall

CG: WHAT DID SHE DO?

TA: iim not 2ayiing

CG: TELL ME.

TA: no

CG: TELL ME OR I'LL ASK TEREZI.

TA: fiine

TA: 2he...

TA: 2he...

CG: SHE WHAT?

CG: SPIT IT OUT BEFORE I COME OVER THERE AND PUNCH YOU IN THE GUT SO YOU SPIT IT OUT.

TA: 2he...kii22ed me.

CG: PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF FFFFFFFFFFFFFFF FFFFFFFFFF FFFFFFFFF FHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHA HAHHA

TA: 2hut up

TA: iit2 not funny

C G: HAHA HAHAHAHA HAHAHA HAHAHAH AHAHA

TA: shut the fuck up dude

CG: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...HAHA. OK, SO NOW VRISKA HAS A THING FOR YOU?

CG: UNLUCKY BASTARD.

CG: YOU SHOULD KILL YOURSELF TO SAVE YOURSELF FROM FURTHER TORTURE.

TA: no

TA: 2he diid iit two prove a point

TA: ju2t watch out

TA: for tz and np

TA: they may go for you next

CG: THEY WOULDN'T DARE.

TA: they triied two paiir me and vrii2ka up

TA: they can make 2ome pretty me22ed up couple2

TA: 2o, beware

twinArmageddons [TA] has ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]

Karkat blinked as Sollux ceased to troll him. With a sigh, he fell back in his chair. _What the fuck are those two playing at?_

OoOoOoOoOoOoOo

I am TEREZI PYROPE.

And our first matchmaking game didn't go so well. Karkat knows that Nepeta has a crush on him, Sollux blew a hole in the roof, and him and Vriska aren't coming within 100 dragonlengths of the place. **(A.N. Totally made up measuring system.)**

So, that's two, possibly three people that we can't pair up with out pulling some strings. And Nepeta's moping about the hole in her cave (I said it would make a good skylight, but nooooo, nobody listens to Terezi) and Karkat. Stupid Karkat. He's such an idiot sometimes.

Okay, most of the time.

"So, Nepeta, who should we pair up next?" I asked, trying to break the silence.

"I don't know..." She said after a brief pause. "Me and Karkat?" She was persistent, I'll give her that.

That had been last 25 suggestions, and my patience was wearing thin.

"Fine." I mumbled, opening up my husktop. "I'll troll him."

gallowsCalibrator [GC] has begun trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]

GC: K4RK4T

CG: NO. NO. NOT IN A MILLION FUCKING SOLAR SWEEPS.

CG: NOT IF SHE'S THE LAST OTHER TROLL ALIVE.

CG: NEVER.

GC: WH4T 4R3 YOU T4LK1NG 4BOUT?

CG: SOLLUX TOLD ME.

CG: YOU WON'T GET ME INTO THIS MESS TOO.

CG: WAIT, DID VRISKA REALLY KISS HIM?

GC: Y3S.

CG: HILARIOUS!

CG: I'M TELLING GAMZEE.

GC: YOU DO TH4T

GC: SO YOU WONT COM3?

CG: THAT'S RIGHT.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC]

I slumped back. "He's not coming." I informed Nepeta. "Sollux told him."

Nepeta looked distraught. "What? He has to come...he has to..."

"Hey, don't get all sad." I tried to reassure her. "Who can we pair up...who...?"

Nepeta thought for a moment, then her eyes lit up. "I got it!"

_Please not her and Karkles again..._

"Tavros and Kanaya!" Nepeta jumped up as if she had won a prize.

"That's...actually viable. Good work, Nepeta!" I congratulated her, then went back to my husktop. "I'll get Tavros. You get Kanaya."

gallowsCalibrator [GC] has begun trolling adiosToreador [AT]

GC: H3Y T4VROS~

GC: ):]

TA: uHH, HI,

TA: gAMZEE tOLD mE yOU wERE pLAYING, UHH, A gAME,

TA: wHAT iS iT

I silently thanked Gamzee for being such an idiot. If he actually understood what we were doing, I think Tavros would have blocked me.

GC: 1TS NOT FL4RP

GC: 1F TH4TS WH4T YOUR3 4SK1NG

GC: BUT 1TS L1K3 FL4RP

GC: W1THOUT TH3 3XTR3M3

TA: rEALLY,

TA: iS iT tABLETOP

GC: Y3S

GC: ):]

TA: oH bOY,

TA: i wANT tO cOME,

TA: wAIT,

GC: WH4T 1S 1T?

TA: wILL vRISKA bE tHERE,

GC: NO

TA: oKAY, i wANT tO cOME,

TA: iF tHAT'S oKAY

GC: Y34H!

TA: wHO'S pLAYING?

GC: M3, N3P3TA AND YOU

GC: M4YB3 K4N4Y4

TA: wHAT'S iT lIKE?

GC: YOU'LL S33!

GC: ):D

TA: hOW wILL i gET THERE,

GC: K4N4Y4 1S COM1NG

GC: SH3'LL P1CK YOU UP

TA: oKAY,

TA: sHOULD i bRING mY, dICE,

TA: aND MY, UHH, FLAPSTRACTIONS?

GC: NO

GC: JUST W41T

GC: K4N4Y4 W1LL G3T YOU SOON

GC: ):D

gallowsCalibrator [GC] ceased trolling adiosToreador [AT]

AT: wAIT,

AT: oH NEVERMIND,

OoOoOoOoOoOoOo

I am TAVROS NITRAM, and I was going to go play a fun new game with my friends. Once Kanaya picked me up, that is.

I couldn't wait. It would be so much fun! What would the game be like? Would I be able to be a Boy-Skylark?

Then, I heard someone knocking on my door. "Coming!" I shouted, wheeling over to the door and opening it.

Kanaya was splattered with cholerbear blood, and was holding her lipstick in her right hand. "Hello. Now, let's go." She said casually, as if she wasn't splattered with the blood of a giant fluffy bear.

"Okay! Bye, Tinkerbull!" I said as I left, wheeling behind Kanaya. She looked thoughtful, as if she were considering something she had been told. After several minutes of silence, I decided to speak up. "Do you know, uhh, anything about this game?" I asked curiously.

"Not really. Nepeta said something about it being safer than FLARP." She answered. "That's a good thing, I'm guessing?"

"Yes." I admitted, looking down at my legs. My legs...oh, my poor, poor legs.

Kanaya noticed this. "Oh yes. That happened in FLARP." She remembered.

"Yeah, uhh, Vriska..." I started cautiously. I _was _talking to her moirail. "...convinced me to jump off the cliff."

Kanaya nodded slowly. "I remember."

The walk continued in silence, before I spoke up again. "So, uhh, how are things going? Between you and Vriska, I mean." I asked, somewhat cautious.

Kanaya's eyes clouded. "Fairly well, I suppose." She muttered in response, but then seemed to brighten up and asked me "How are you doing?"

I hesitated a moment before speaking up. "I'm getting around good. Better than before." I admitted. "But I'm not, uhh, doing so well in the, uhh, self-confidence department." I added quietly.

Kanaya seemed to perk up. "Well, I think it would help if you visualized your self-confidence. And speak to it."

"I'll think about it." And I would. Later, Rufio would be created.

A couple more minutes passed before we were at Terezi's. Kanaya looked up the ladder, then at me.

"How am I supposed to get up there?" I said in a meek voice.

"Like this!" Someone shouted from inside the hive. A rope was tossed down. "Tie it around his wheelchair!" It was Terezi.

So, Kanaya did just that, and went up while Terezi and Nepeta pulled me up, so she could get me if I fell.

I didn't, thankfully, and I got inside, ready to play a fun game of...whatever it was.

I looked around. Terezi and Nepeta made a game board, and there were a pile of dice nearby. There were four models in the middle of the board. I noticed they all seemed fairly new-looking, and all beared some resemblance to us. "What are these?" I asked eagerly.

"These are some models. I purchased them a while you two were coming. Troll delivery sure is fast." Terezi answered. "This one is Neophyte Redglare" she said, pointing at hers, "This is The Summoner," pointing at mine "This is The Disciple," pointing at Nepeta's, "And this is The Dolorosa." She finished, pointing at Kanaya's.

"So, what is this game?" I asked, bursting with excitement.

"It's called TARP. Tabletop Action Role Playing. Not a great name, I know." She answered.

"What are the classes?" I asked. "Is there a Boy Skylark?"

Terezi grinned evilly. "Oh yes, there is a Boy Skylark class. It's basically a tabletop version of FLARP. Without the Gaming Flapstractions." She explained. "There's also Petticoat Seagrift, Savage Beastmaiden, Fiery Axehauler, Gluttonous Ravage-bear, Elastic Bombette, Heavenly Ubercleric, amongst many, many others. Like the Threscutioning Lawmaster!" She added, grinning. "I'm the last one, if you forgot."

"I'm a Savage Beastmaiden!" Nepeta squeaked happily.

"Can I look at the book?" Kanaya asked. Terezi handed her the book, which she began reading. Meanwhile, Terezi taught me the rules.

After she finished reading, Kanaya looked up. "I want to be a Heavenly Ubercleric." Terezi grinned wider.

"That's good! We need a healer!"

OoOoOoOoOoOoOo

_And so ends Part 1 of Tavros and Kanaya._

_ Review please, and hope you enjoyed. _


	3. Pairing Two: Tavros and Kanaya Part Two

_Hey! Sorry for the short wait. Either way, here's part two of Tavros and Kanaya. Will everything go wrong? Will Tavros fall from the house? __WILL KANAYA GO NUTS?_

_ALL THE QUESTIONS ARE ANSWERED IN THIS EXCITING INSTALLMENT OF...M4TCHM4K3RS!_

_Disclaimer: I do not own Homestuck. I own very few things, in reality, and this story is one of them._

_COPY IT AND DIE._

OoOoOoOoOoO

I, KANAYA MARYAM, had suspected something from the start. I was never invited to play any...well, games in general. Just because of the connection to Vriska. Well, yeah, she blinded Terezi, killed Aradia's lusus, and paralyzed Tavros, but she wasn't that bad.

Okay, she was that bad. I don't know why I put up with her. Well, yes I do, but that's my business.

Either way, she had also messaged me a couple hours before this started, talking about some matchmaking game Terezi and Nepeta were playing.

I didn't pay her much mind. Vriska was pretty paranoid, so it didn't need to be completely true. That's not to say I didn't think about it. Briefly.

And then I ended up here, with Tavros, playing some game I didn't understand, and still don't, and with Terezi and Nepeta.

Vriska's conspiracy theories were becoming slightly believable. As I played the game, I thought about it. They were, if this was true and if it was what they were doing, trying to pair me up with Tavros.

I thought about it, and about the two of us. I didn't think it would work. Not to say I didn't like Tavros. It's just I didn't feel like that about him. And what about his feelings for me? Those I didn't know, still don't know, and never will know because he's dead now. But put all that aside.

Anyways, as I was saying. We were fighting some Rainbow Drinkers (Tavros wasn't doing so well, for whatever reason. Maybe it's because he's the worst class in the game, from what I heard from Vriska.) Meanwhile, I had an edge against them due to Rainbow Drinker Lore III-the highest possible. What can I say, I read a lot of books about them.

So, then Vriska messaged me on Trollian. I stood up, excused myself and walked off, walking around bifurcated and disected scalemates while talking to her.

arachnidsGrip [AG] began trolling grimAuxiliatrix [GA]

GA: What Is It

AG: Can't I just talk to my meddlefriend?

AG: Anyways, I was just wondering how you were doing.

GA: Why

AG: Terezi and Nepeta! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

AG: Duh!

GA: Well

GA: I'm With Them Right Now

AG: Doiiiiiiiing what?

GA: Playing TARP

AG: Oh! TARP?

AG: I'm coming!

GA: Wait What

arachnidsGrip [AG] has ceased trolling grimAuxiliatrix [GA]

GA: But Tavros Is Here

I blinked as she signed out, then let out a groan. I doubted any of the others would enjoy Vriska's intrusion. Tavros definitely wouldn't.

"Kanayaaaaaaa! Where are you? It's your turn!" Terezi called out from the main room. I sighed, then walked back to the room, where the three were waiting.

"Tavros managed to kill one." Nepeta informed me, grinning. Tavros looked pretty smug.

"Who was that, Kanaya?" Terezi asked politely.

I hesitated. Don't get me wrong, this game was actually pretty fun, and I knew Vriska coming over would ruin it for, well, everyone else. "Uhhh, it was Vriska." I answered quietly.

Nepeta perked her ears up curiously, and Tavros looked up. They hadn't heard. But I couldn't fool Terezi's ears. The look on her face went from one that indicated she was in a good mood to one of surprise. "Oh, great. Vriska." She groaned, causing Nepeta to blink in surprise and Tavros to freeze. "Tell me you didn't say anything."

"I couldn't lie to her! She is my moirail." I argued.

"But I lie to Equius all the time, and he's my moirail!" Nepeta said. Tavros still hadn't recovered from the shock.

Terezi sighed. "Okay, operation canceled." She declared, standing up. Nepeta looked disappointed, but not surprised. Meanwhile, me and Tavros were thoroughly confused. Terezi looked at us, then said "This...may have been a little matchmaking game." I facepalmed and Tavros flushed.

"That's what, uhh, Gamzee meant by a game?" He realized.

Terezi was waving her hands in the air. "Yes! But you guys should leave before Vriska arrives!" She demanded, kicking open the trapdoor. "Out!"

We complied. I went down first, and Tavros was lowered again by rope. I quickly took him to his hive before going to mine.

I groaned as I got back inside. My phone had started beeping. Vriska.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

I am KARKAT VANTAS and, dear god, I am VERY ANNOYED.

Sollux thought it was funny to go to Nepeta's for some weird reason, and he found a big mural that detailed Nepeta's crush on me. Naturally, he sent to me. I have one thing to say to him. And that is, of course, fuck you. Because that's actually pretty creepy, her crush on me. My Lusus seemed to be somewhat amused by my somewhat cautious attitude.

Either way, I jumped a pod (A.N. More made up measuring systems.) high when my Husktop started beeping. I cautiously made my way towards it. When I got there, I saw that Kanaya had sent me a message. I opened it up and responded.

grimAuxiliatrix [GA] has begun trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]

GA: Karkat There Is Something I Need To Tell You

CG: YES I KNOW THAT NEPETA HAS A CRAZY STALKER CRUSH ON ME.

CG: I DON'T NEED IT TOLD TO ME AGAIN,

CG: SO SHOVE A WIGGLER UP YOUR PROTEIN CHUTE AND HOBBLE OFF SOMEWHERE ELSE.

GA: Nepeta Has A Crush On You?

CG: YES.

CG: YOU DIDN'T KNOW?

GA: No

GA: That's Not What I Came To Tell You Anyways

GA: Terezi and Nepeta Tried To Pair Me Up With Tavros

CG: NOT YOU TOO.

CG: THEY TRIED TO PAIR UP SOLLUX AND VRISKA TOO.

CG: SOLLUX TOLD ME SHE KISSED HIM, AND CAUSED HIM TO BLOW A HOLE IN THE WALL

CG: IN HIS ANGER

CG: NOT ANYTHING ELSE

GA: She What

GA: She Kissed Sollux

CG: YEAH, SHE DID.

CG: TO PROVE A POINT, I THINK.

CG: ANYWAYS, I KNOW ALREADY.

CG: YOUR CONCERN MAKES ME WANT TO VOMIT OUT WIGGLERS AND FEED THEM TO MY LUSUS.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] has ceased trolling grimAuxiliatrix [GA]

OoOoOoOoOoOo

_So, that's that. I'm aware this chapter is pretty short, but it is a conclusion to another chapter. Anywho, hope you enjoyed, and please review._

_Reviews are an author's food. :D And I'm starving. D:_


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